how giving are we?

"Inside the snow globe on my father's desk, there was a penguin wearing a red-and-white striped scarf. When I was little my father would pull me into his lap and reach for the snow globe. He would turn it over, letting all the snow collect on the top, then quickly invert it. The two of us watched the snow fall gently around the penguin. The penguin was alone in there, I thought, and I worried for him. When I told my father this, he said, "Don't worry, Susie; he has a nice life. He's trapped in a perfect world." - alice sebold, the lovely bones.

i've been wondering of late, if perhaps there is a joy intensified in watching the world around you progress into spurts of happiness. (in a hypothetical way that we are not part of the world, but merely watching the world - almost like watching a film; just that the actors are the people who matter to you) i recall some time back a friend told me - it's easy to say that as long as the rest are happy, i'm happy. but plunging deep beneath the folds of our heart, we realize that it isn't all that simple because ultimately at the end of the day, we do want to get something out of it. a reciprocal kind of happiness that perhaps is not too much to ask. and i also remember uttering some words in my semi-consicousness to a good friend; that if we go all out to make everyone happy, who's going to make us happy? well all these seem entirely selfish, as if that the act of goodness/altruism has become some sort of self-serving act when in fact our morality(imprinted into us by society) preaches that we should be giving, not expecting anything in return. but honestly, think about it for a moment before we proceed to wag a finger in my face and label me 'a selfish bastard from hell' - aren't we all really expecting something a tad bit reciprocal if we are providing joy for someone else. not that the returns necessarily match the quantity/quality of what was given, but that the returns justifies your act? for e.g. the act of charity would be all worthwhile, if a young kid struggling to stay in school financially, holds your hand, looks you in the eye and simply utters thank you. doesn't that make the gift worthwhile, even though technically speaking two words are spoken so loosely in today's society that it actually loses its 'power'.

maybe, just maybe, like susie in lovely bones, watching the world from above(or some other place where you actually have the ability to make others happy, knowing they cant do shit for you), would actually be the ideal. in a way, you become forced to give in a manner that doesn't seek to receive, and your evoked joy is merely from the act of seeing others happy.

joy to the world.
world, what will you take from me?